


And You Will Find Me

by heartmade_writingbucky



Series: Walking in the Wind [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers Tower, Character Death, Drabble Series, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hydra, Kidnapping, Minor Character Death, Torture, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 06:42:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16908090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartmade_writingbucky/pseuds/heartmade_writingbucky
Summary: Bucky and you are best friends, which no one really knows about, and one day, you are kidnapped by Hydra. So, naturally, Bucky tries everything to save you.





	1. yeah, you will find me

“No!”, he exclaimed, then, more quietly, “please, no.”

Bucky looked around in your apartment, or what was left of it. Everything you own was scattered around the place, furniture broken and knocked over, multiple frames with pictures of the two of you shattered on the floor. The fight that had happened here was obvious. Bucky even noticed claw marks on one of the armchairs and those made him feel like vomiting.

The only thing that didn’t fit into the image was the neatly folded piece of paper on your bedside table Bucky saw when he stepped over a lamp and into your bedroom.

_You know where to find her._

_We’re waiting._

It was not only the message but the patches of blood next to it as well that made his blood boil.

_This is my fault,_ he thought, _I shouldn’t have left her._

He feels awful, and understandably so. You’d been best friends for years after he had saved you from a disgusting man in a dark alley that had tried to do some things to you which Bucky still had to force out of his mind sometimes. But he had decided it would be for the better if he kept you a secret to the other Avengers so that you wouldn’t be connected to them and get into possible danger.

Obviously, that came with no success, as you were now kidnapped and Bucky was beating himself up for it.

He needs to get you back, that was clear, but would most likely be easier said than done, considering that he was on his own in this. They were surely expecting him, it would be a trap and probably end in the both of you being killed. And Bucky was sure as hell not going to let that happen. It was enough that he’d put you in the kind of danger you were now.

Bucky tried to make a plan for your rescue, but he couldn’t focus on anything other than the images of you screaming and winding in pain.

Fortunately, his phone started to vibrate in the pocket of his jeans, indicating a call. It was Steve.

Bucky answered the call, but couldn’t concentrate on what Steve was saying. After moments, he breathed, “Steve.”

Steve immediately noticed his best friend’s discomfort and was thus interrupted in his rant. “What’s wrong?”

Bucky couldn’t think. “You need to come here.”

“Of course, where are you?”

“No, I can’t, I- She.” Bucky sighed in defeat. “I’ll text you,” he whispered and hung up.

* * *

Whilst Bucky was waiting for Steve, he walked around in your apartment and looked for some things that could assure him that you were fine – at least when you had left the place against your will.

The only thing he found, though, was a shattered mug on the floor with tea and blood already starting to dry around it. He couldn’t find it in him to look it at for longer than he already had.

And he didn’t have to.

“Holy shit, what happened here?” Steve stepped over a chair that had gotten knocked over.

Bucky stood up from where he had been kneeling on the floor. He simply looked at Steve as if that would give the answer.

“I mean, a fight obviously,” Steve stated, “Where is the other guy?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Wasn’t it you who had a fight here?”

Bucky led his head drop for a second. “No,” he breathed.

Steve frowned. “Buck, you called me here, you need to tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know, okay?” Bucky threw his hands up in frustration. “I came here and- just. The door was open and now she’s gone. Steve, I- they took her, Steve.” He roughly ran his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes.

Steve tilted his head in confusion. “Who are you talking about?” He could finally see what a mess his best friend really was. He stood there in the room, nothing of his usually straight and intimidating posture left, red-rimmed eyes that were obviously fighting against tears and a look that he only had after a nightmare.

But maybe this was a nightmare. With the only difference of course that Bucky was not sleeping at all and also definitely not going to until he had you back in his arms.

 


	2. in places that we've never been

“Okay, so we know that she’s with Hydra,” Steve said. “Do you know where specifically?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, it should be the facility I was in the majority of the time. It’s really hard to get in there, though.”

Steve agreed, “and they’ll be awaiting us.”

There was a moment of silence where Bucky tried to come up with something.

“I think we need the others for this,” Steve said carefully, he knew how difficult it would be for Bucky to ask for help like this, considering how long he’d kept you a secret.

“No!” Bucky said firmly. “We are not asking them. Absolutely not.”

“Buck-“

“No. They hate me enough already; I don’t need to put them in a situation like this.”

“Buck, listen to me. We are not getting her out safely if we do it alone. We are risking her safety if we do it on our own,” Steve reasoned and Bucky knew he had a point.

* * *

“We have to make a plan,” Nat stated the obvious as they were all cramped up in your small living room. “We need to get in and out as quickly as possible without losing anyone.”

“The most difficult thing will be to locate her. We know the facility, but not where exactly she is being held.” Steve glanced up at Bucky, who had been pacing around in the room, deeply in thought.

“Buck, do you have an idea where she could be?”, he asked, but didn’t get an answer. “Buck?”, he tried again. “Bucky Barnes!”

The man in question abruptly snapped his head up and turned around, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. “Sorry?”

Steve stood up, put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder to calm him down at least a little bit. “It’s going to be alright. We’ll get her.”

Bucky nodded, but everyone that he did it just to get the attention off of himself.

Tony didn’t care. The tension between him and Bucky was still heavy after all that had happened. “Well, we have to get _inside_ first,” he said. He had decided that he was willing to – at least temporarily – put their past aside to help save you. You had nothing to do with any of this, you were innocent. And Tony sure as hell wasn’t going to let an innocent girl die. He was an Avenger, after all.

“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” Natasha piped up, “We have layouts of the building. If Bucky can confirm they are still correct, we have a major advantage.”

“Let’s think this through first, though,” Steve reasoned, “They know that he is coming, they’ll probably even make it easy for him to get to her.”

“What are you saying?”, Clint wanted to know.

“He thinks it’s a trap,” Nat answered for him.

“Just- they are planning on keeping him there.”

“Well, that’s not happening.”

“Bucky-“

“Listen, Steve. This is gonna work. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but I don’t care if they kill me. If it gets her out of there, I am willing to take any risk.”

“This is ridiculous. You don’t have to die on this mission.”

Bucky didn’t care who said it, he didn’t agree. “No, I know I don’t. But she is all I have.”

“Let’s cross that line when we get there, shall we?” Tony said and after that, they went back to making a solid plan that would get everyone in and out without anyone having to die.


	3. for reasons we don't understand

“Tell me, where he is!” The words were followed by a hard slap across your face. It stung but by now you were used to it.

“No,” you said through gritted teeth, tasting blood on your tongue.

“Tell me!” This time, the man used the back of his hand, nothing he hadn’t done before.

“Never.”

“I won’t ask again, bitch.” His words were filled with anger, but you just wouldn’t budge.

“Yes, you will,” you challenged. Sarcasm was one of the only things to keep you alive right now. The other was the hope that Bucky would come and save you.

“What did you just say?” another man warned, “do you want me to kill you?”

“You won’t.” Your head slowly rolls from side to side, as you are not strong enough to keep it upright anymore in the position you are: hanged up by solely your hands with your feet barely touching the ground. You hadn’t really felt your fingers in about a day or two, you weren’t sure, it could only have been an hour for all you knew. Everything had sort of blended together in a mass of hurt. But somehow you had managed to keep your focus on reality at least enough to not give in. “If you wanted to kill me you would have done it already.” The words weighed heavily on your tongue, but you got the out anyways.

Much to your dismay, your opponent took out a knife. Your face fell, but only slightly.

“Yeah, didn’t see that coming, did you?” The smirk he had on his face made you feel bile rise in your throat. “You know, you’re right, we kinda want you alive, but let’s just say that if you accidently die in my hands, well, no one’s gonna care, really.” He paused, walking around you so you couldn’t see him anymore. “So, I’m gonna give you one more chance. Are you gonna tell us where he is or not?”

What you didn’t know is that it didn’t matter whether you did or not, the man was certain that Bucky was going to show up sooner rather than later, although he hoped for the latter. The only reason why they were torturing you was pure fun. They wanted to see the pain on your face mixed with tears of frustration, they wanted to hear you scream until your throat was raw and it still wouldn’t be enough. They had loved that about handling Bucky and they were loving it now with you.

This man, in particular, was very much enjoying that you hadn’t given up yet, you had surprised and thus struck a light in him. He wanted to see how much you would be able to handle until you collapsed.

Which wasn’t going to happen in that moment, though, because you kept your chin up as much as possible and told him, “Go fuck yourself”, which in return earned you a long slit going all the way from your collarbone, just inches below your pulse point, over your shoulder to your shoulder blade.

You tightly gritted your teeth to keep yourself from screaming.

It was excruciating, all you felt was the pain, finally slipping away from reality whilst the world around you turned into black nothing.

 After you woke up, you didn’t say anything anymore. Your tongue felt too heavy, numb. It was like your brain kept you from moving altogether. You simply let everything happen to you, trying to at least keep your mind focused as you made yourself concentrate on anything other than what was happening around you, which was why you didn’t notice that you weren’t more or less hanging from the ceiling anymore. No, you were now sitting in a chair that, ironically enough, Bucky had escaped from. It was where he had lost the memories and happiness he had, together with you, struggled to regain.

You had sat there before but you weren’t going to remember any of the times.

 No, Hydra had succeeded in their plan. They had broken you.


	4. I'll see your face again

“I’m going in alone.” Bucky stared at the door of the quinjet, waiting for it to open.

“No, you’re not.” Steve looked at his best friend in something that resembled pity. He could see how Bucky stood with broad shoulders, clenched fists and how he mentally prepared himself to fight for the only real thing in his life since the old days. Steve had realized this moments after they first started talking about you. Until then, he hadn’t known that Bucky even had another friend. And after really seeing the look in Bucky’s eyes when he talked about you, made him wonder whether there was more between than he was letting on.

“We’ve been over this, Barnes. The only way we can do this is together. So stop whining.”

“Tony.” Nat’s tone was warning. She, too, could see how much Bucky cared for you.

Tony, in return, slammed the button to open the door. “We’re there.” But before he could take even one step forward, Bucky was already outside.

“That- fuck. That idiot is gonna cost us the whole operation.”

“No, I’m not,” was Bucky’s voice audible over the intercom. “They want me. Not you guys.”

“Buck, please. Think rationally. You-“

“Steve, one more word and I’m gonna drink the whole bottle on my own. Don’t you dare go after me.”

In reaction to these words, Steve’s entire posture changed. Almost nothing of the usually so professional attitude was left and was instead replaced by uncomfortable tension in his shoulders and face. He closed his eyes. “Tell us, when you need us, okay?”

“Okay.”

The entire team turned around to him, looks of exasperation on their faces.

Nat spoke first. “What was that about?”

“What did he mean by that? What whole bottle?”, came from Clint.

Steve sighed deeply. “It’s a pact we made one time when I was really sick. We had a bottle of some expensive liquor, I don’t remember which sort, and we said that when one of us died the other was gonna drink the whole thing on their own when they can’t take it anymore. Although we never said it out loud, it meant suicide. All we ever had was each other.”

“So… he’ll kill himself when we go after him?” The others glanced around hesitantly.

“Yes- No. He’ll do it if she dies.”

“Then we have to go in there!” Sam said. “This is ridiculous.”

“It’s not fucking Shakespeare’s times.” Tony didn’t have any sympathy for Bucky anymore. “We are wasting resources on a damn suicide mission!”

“Since when do you care about wasting resources?” Natasha looked at him pointedly. “You are the number one on the list of people wasting money on unnecessary things.”

“Stop it! We’re waiting for him to call us. Then we’ll go in.” Steve didn’t know what else to do. “He’s not stupid. Let’s just hope he has a plan.”

* * *

Truth is, Bucky did not have a plan. He was blinded by the need to have you save. In fact, nothing he had done since leaving the quinjet and sprinting towards the facility was planned. His only thought was you and this was why he found himself in the halls of said facility, surrounded by several unconscious Hydra agents and guards. Mindlessly he stepped over them and further down the hallway.

At some point, he reached a door he had been staring at for approximately fifty years on a daily basis. The only difference to those times was which side of the door he had been staring at. Nothing else had changed, really. His only wish in life was to get to the other side to change it for the better. He just wanted to save you.

* * *

He pushed down the door handle. It wasn’t locked as he had estimated. No, it opened with ease to reveal the one sight Bucky had been desperately hoping to never see.

 


	5. it's not the end

Bucky stepped into the room and it two seconds to shoot all the Hydra agents in the room. They didn’t even have the time to react.

When his eyes finally landed on you, his heart broke. You were, once again, hanging from handcuffs that were attached to the ceiling. Your head hung low, hair in knots. Only wearing a torn shirt that reached your mid-thigh, you shivered from the cold in the room and Bucky could see how much weight you had lost in these past few days. But not only that was visible, also the huge bruises that covered almost the entirety of your body. Everything he saw made his blood boil in anger and disgust towards himself and the people who had hurt you this severely.

Exhaustion had gotten the better of you and so you hadn’t even reacted to the loud noises of Bucky’s entry because you hadn’t noticed any.

He stepped closer towards you and saw your unfocused glassy eyes. Had it not been for irregular breathing, Bucky would have thought you were dead.

Gently, he opened the handcuffs and rubbed your wrists with his thumbs.

The action startled you and you immediately crouched in on yourself. “Please, no more,” you whispered with a hoarse, frightened voice.

“It’s me, doll. I’ve got you now.” Bucky had to fight the tears in his eyes as he gathered you up in his arms.

You fought to lift your head up at him. “Bucky?”, you breathed, not fully trusting your senses.

“Yes, it’s me. You’re safe. It’s gonna be okay.” Bucky’s voice slightly cracked at the end of the sentence. Holding you up with one arm, he used the other to gently stroke your cheek in a spot where you seemed to be unharmed.

“Get us out of here,” he spoke into the intercom as he heard more agents approaching.

With his metal arm, that could bear more weight than the other, he held you close to his chest, even though he didn’t really need to since you were as light as a feather now. The other held up a gun, ready to shoot anyone that was going to be in his way to get you into safety.

It was a miracle that he had gone unnoticed so far and that it, still, was so quiet in the room. To Bucky, it seemed too quiet.

Too quiet indeed, because you had stopped breathing.

“Y/N?”, was the last thing you heard before you, once again, slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

When you awoke, you weren’t cold anymore. Instead, you noticed a soft blanket draped over you and a warm hand on your forehead.

“I think she’s waking up”, you heard an unfamiliar voice say.

“You sure?” It was another voice you couldn’t put a name to.

“Yeah, she stirred.”

After fighting for a little bit, you finally opened your eyes. Blinking away the sudden brightness, you were able to focus on two figures standing next to the bed you were in. You realized that somehow you must have found your way into a hospital.

The hesitantly smiled at you. “Hey there,” one of them, the blond one, said. You recognized him as Steve Rogers. He was Bucky’s best friend. Besides you, of course, if you were to ask Bucky.

The other one, you realized, was Sam Wilson. Another, well sort of, friend of Bucky’s. Speaking of.

“Where is he?”, you managed to croak out, your voice rough from disuse.

Sam stepped towards your nightstand to pour you a glass of water and while you drank he and Steve exchanged looks.

“What?” You were confused, in fact, you were irritated as to why he hadn’t been there when you woke up. Then it dawned on you. “Is he hurt?!”, you asked frantically. Before you could move a muscle, though, a sharp pain shot through your body, keeping you in the laying position.

Steve took away the cup from you and handed it back to Sam before gently grasping your hand. It was meant to comfort you, but it just alarmed that further.

“Tell me,” you demanded. You hated the suspense. All you wanted was to know he was okay.

The men next to exchanged another glance. In that split second, it seemed like they had a whole conversation telepathically.

Steve turned back towards you. “We couldn’t get him out,” he said with a heavy heart. “He’s still with Hydra.”


	6. if you're lost, just look for me

_“He’s still with Hydra.”_

 The words knocked all your breath out of your lungs and hot tears sprung to the corners of your eyes as you struggled to find the ability to breathe again.

As a reflex, Sam slammed the emergency button next to your pillow and Steve cradled you up in his arms, slowly running his hand across your back. You fought to let the action soothe your distress and after a few minutes of hopeless wheezing, it finally started to work.

Or, it could have been because of the sedative a nurse had given you without you noticing it.

“Shh… It’s gonna be okay,” Steve tried to reassure you and those were the same word Bucky had said to you just a day before. Your brain associated them with him and you were still exhausted, so you thought it was his whose arms were.

“Bucky?”, you whispered, momentarily forgetting what had happened to him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Steve said, bringing you back to your senses, “He’s not here.”

You looked at him tiredly. “Where is he? Is he going to be here soon?”

Steve struggled to find the right words, but Sam stepped in. “He’s on his way,” he said, trying his best to smile. He couldn’t imagine what pain you had gone through and so he thought it would be best to give you at least one night of good sleep to build up a bit of strength before they really had to confront you with the bad news again.

And it wasn’t fully a lie. Everyone hoped that Bucky was going to fight to get out of the hands of Hydra once again. For all they knew, he could already be making a run for it this very moment.

Steve laid you back onto the mattress. He covered you with the blanket in hopes of getting you to stop shiver, although he knew it was not because of being cold.

* * *

“We have to do something!”

“We all know that. But, Nat, please. Don’t wake her up.”

“I think it’s too late for that.”

You opened your eyes. Once again, Sam and Steve were in the room, this time accompanied by Natasha Romanov.

It had been like that for the past five days. Every morning you woke up to find a few Avenger in your room. You had developed something resembling friendship in that time and it helped you get better. They supported you in healing with funny anecdotes and kind words so you could temporarily forget how much you missed Bucky and how he feared for him.

“How are you feeling?”, Nat wanted to know with a kind smile.

You nodded in response. “Good, I suppose,” you said and then noticed the looks the people in the room were giving you. It was a mixture of multiple things. Sadness, worry, but pity definitely dominated. “He’s still not back, is he?”

The others hesitated with their answer. You sighed. “You don’t have to say anything.” Inside of you, the confusion you had felt before was replaced with dread. Gone was the bit of hope you had felt when waking up.

“Y/N,” Steve got your attention again. He waited until you looked at him before he spoke. “He is. In this hospital, I mean.”

Surprised, you sat up in the bed, ignoring the pain that shot through your body. “Really?”

“Yes, but-“

“I have to see him.” You moved to lift the blanket, but Steve grabbed your hand, stopping you.

“You can’t.”

“What? Why not?”


	7. I'll be by your side

It turns out that you had been either unconscious or sleeping when two things of major significance had happened. The first was you being rescued, where you had been handed over to Steve by Bucky, so that he could get you out. Bucky had wanted to stay behind to get some revenge and although Steve wasn’t really one for revenge, he let that slide because after seeing what they had done to you and considering the decades his best friend had lived on their leash. The latter had fought even though he had been hit by a bullet moments prior that had only missed your head by a few inches because Bucky had dodged away in the last second.

The Avengers – minus Steve, who was with you – had been trying to keep the exits open for as long as possible, but at some point, there were just too many people. They had suffered several hits and eventually, Steve had to call them in. It was a decision that had broken his heart, but Bucky had spoken through the intercom in the last minute, letting him know that he was going to come back as soon as possible.

It had taken him a couple of days, though, and no one really had the energy to hide their worry. You unconscious in a hospital bed with injuries and a trauma that not even the doctors could foresee the impact of and Bucky God knows where doing God knows what, they weren’t able to properly settle down to relax.

Although to be fair, not everyone was as invested in both. Steve had more faith in you surviving than in Bucky staying in his current mental state, whilst Tony simply didn’t want the Winter Soldier to be their problem again, which didn’t mean that either of them didn’t want to see you healthy again, only that you were currently safe and Bucky wasn’t. The only connection the Avengers had to you was the fact that they knew how much you meant to Bucky and how much Bucky meant to Steve and Steve was family.

Although now, after a few days since you had woken up, you had become somewhat friends.

And because you were friends now, they had started to care about you, which meant that they had a bad feeling about you seeing Bucky. He had come back as himself, but after a few hours of sleep, he had woken up as the Winter Soldier and beat up a doctor, only stopping when a nurse got the chance to drug him.

Since then, no one had wanted to go in there except Steve and had gone only semi-well. You wanted to try nonetheless.

It had worked before. Bucky and you had met in a grocery store parking lot where you had dropped your bags, just to have him pick them up for you. Somehow you had managed to become really good friends. At some point, you found out about his past and he had realized that you had a comforting effect on him. You always calmed him down after nightmares or panic attacks, so why shouldn’t it work now?

* * *

This is why, when your nurse checked on you for the last time until morning, you pushed yourself up from the mattress. You grimaced at the pain that seemed to come from every part of your body when your bare feet hit the cold floor, but you brushed it off with the determination to finally see your best friend again. You pushed your muscles screaming in protest, as you were not allowed to walk yet, aside. It didn’t matter right now. All you needed was to see Bucky save.

Luckily, you had overheard someone in the hall mention his name and room number, so it wasn’t too difficult to find him.

You pushed the door open carefully before quickly slipping inside the room. In the second that followed, you were harshly pushed up against the wall, a hand wrapped around your throat.

“Bucky?”, you somehow managed to get out through your unsuccessful fight for air.

“Who the fuck are you?”, your opponent spat through his gritted teeth. You recognized the voice as Bucky’s in the dark room but had to realize that you had no idea who the man currently trying to suffocate you was.


	8. I realised you were missing

“Buck-Bucky. It’s me.” As the minutes went on, it was getting increasingly harder to breathe and your vision started to blur around the edges.

“I don’t know you.” He spat, his grip becoming a tad tighter.

You lifted up hands to try and pry his fingers off your throat, ignoring the pain that followed the movement as your wounds were yet to fully heal.

Needing to focus on something, anything, to stay conscious, your eyes found Bucky’s on reflex and you were suddenly more frightened by the coldness of his expression than you had ever been before. They looked dead and did nothing to help you. All you wanted right now was to sleep. It felt so easy, to just close your eyes and let the darkness take over, so much easier than fighting.

And so you missed how the door next to you swung open, startling Bucky, which brought him out of his Winter Soldier mode. You weren’t awake to see his eyes widen in shock and fear as he realized that the hand around your throat was the only thing keeping you upright.

Tony moved to catch you when Bucky let go as if he had been burnt. He called for a nurse and Steve, knowing that someone had to be there for Bucky. The latter was obviously panicking, he ran his hands through his hair, harshly pulling at the thick strands. Some tears had already fallen and he let out the mumbled string of “I killed her, I killed her, oh my God, no. It’s all my fault”.

Tony called again, starting to check your breathing. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“I detected a heartbeat,” the AI’s voice came from the man’s wristwatch.

“Oh, thank God,” he breathed in response. “Steve!”

The man in question appeared in the doorway. “What is it, Tony? Y/N is miss- oh God. What happened?”  
“You friend over there was trying to choke her to death.”

“I wasn’t- I didn’t know! I- Steve.” Bucky looked up at him, visibly an emotional mess.

Steve walked up to him to wrap him in a tight embrace. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything. It was him.”

Bucky desperately shook his head. Steve laid his hand comfortingly on the back of Bucky’s neck, pulling his head closer. “It’s going to be okay.”

Tony stepped over to them. “I’ll get her back her room,” he told them quietly, to which Steve nodded.

“Thanks.”

* * *

You woke up to a new source of pain, your throat was scratchy when you spoke with a small voice. “What happened?” But you started to remember without having to be told. “Bucky?”

“He’s okay. A bit shaken,” Tony, who was next to your bed this time, informed you.

As new images from the incident flooded your memory, you got more and more riled up. “He doesn’t remember me.”

Tony gently took hold of your hand. “He does,” he said with a reassuring smile. “Barnes came to his senses a second after you lost yours.”

You nodded. “Can I see him?”

“I’ll call Steve to bring him over.” He was already pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jacket.

“Thank you.”


	9. we had some good times, didn't we?

“Oh, God.” The door opened and Bucky was next to you in a second. “I am so sorry.” You took your hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, kissing it gently.

“It’s okay,” you assured him, but it didn’t seem to help. He wasn’t going to believe you with your voice this scratchy from the previous night.

“It really isn’t. All I do is put you in harm’s way.”

“I don’t mind.”

Bucky looked at you with an unreadable expression. “Maybe you should.”

You chuckled slightly. I was mostly forced, but you hoped it would lighten the mood. “But then I wouldn’t get to be friends with you any longer.”

Bucky shook his head. “I don’t think I’m that desirable.”

“Well, maybe you should,” you imitated his words from moments ago, but it didn’t come off like you had intended it to do, as the sentence ended in a coughing fit. Gladly you accepted the cup of water that was handed to you with a small “sorry”.

“Stop apologizing,” you croaked out when you had found an acceptable breathing pattern.

“I will, sorry.”

You slapped him playfully with a fond smile. “Bucky!”

* * *

The following months were good. You moved into the tower – right after Bucky did because he couldn’t bear not knowing if you were okay and this didn’t want to alone in some small apartment on your own. He was a very protective friend but you loved him for it.

Speaking of, you started to really love him for more than that and also more than a friend. Or rather, you started to love him differently. In your opinion, friendship was not less worth than love but simply a different kind, although very similar.

But the best thing about falling in love with Bucky? He fell for you, too. You both confessed and shared your first kiss on the kitchen floor with your backs to the cabinets after another nightmare. It had been yours this time. The events in the hands of Hydra hadn’t gone without consequences and understandably so. But you managed them with the help of your new friends and boyfriend.

* * *

Usually, evenings were spent on the sofa in the living room with a movie night that everyone took part in.

Looking back, you don’t remember what movie exactly it was. All you know is that Tony’s security system must have somehow missed a significant something.

And that was that bomb-type thing that made it way towards the tower.

No one else noticed it either until your happy world exploded and the tower went down in flames.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on Tumblr (if you like) @heartmade-writingbucky :)


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